Accepting the shadow self creates space to understand and process our experiences, which allows for both positive change and healing.

Nicogossian

As human beings, we have this wonderful thing called free will. Free will allows us to carve out our own path in life, giving us our individuality and unique footprint here on Earth. But the flip side is – with free will – also comes with the ability to make mistakes.

Many empaths have a hard time accepting this because we think on some level, we should be the exception; that our old souls should have known better. This can lead to a path of self-hatred or addictive behaviors in order to cope with these mistakes that we so desperately try to hide from. This side of us is called our shadow self.

The shadow self is the part of us we have to face if we ever want to truly heal. This includes recognizing the imperfections, the bad decisions, the moments we were not our “best self”. This concept is wonderful in theory, but I’m sure many of you reading this will agree that the execution can be a bit dicey in reality.

In my experience, the first step toward self-forgiveness is acknowledging and ACCEPTING whatever it is in the past (or present) that is keeping you stuck. This does not have to be a public declaration or some grand gesture. It just simply has to be you… facing your shadow self…no more running, no more excuses.

When you stop running and allow yourself to feel the pain you have been trying to numb, you will begin the true healing. Until then, the problem is not going away like you think; it simply is being repressed by the constant attempts to run from it.

Once you face your shadow self, it is time to let it go.

Remind yourself – we came to this Earthly plane to LEARN. The only way to learn is to make mistakes and to experience life in itself. If we knew all the answers, we wouldn’t have chosen to come back here. Your learnings are part of your soul contract and were needed in order for your soul to grow.

Once you allow that to sink in, I want you to close your eyes and picture all those negative emotions in a balloon. Or if you would rather, write yourself a letter.

Below is the message that is inside my imaginary balloon:

Dear Me,

Six years ago, you were a hot mess. You were so focused on saving someone else’s life that you forgot your own self-worth, and ultimately the destruction that it was doing to your own life. I know you were in pain and just trying to stay afloat, but I was mad at you for that unrecognizable person you had become in order to juggle your pain.

Yet – at the same time – I have begun to realize how hard I was on you; you needed someone to be cheering you on, not someone tearing you down. I beat us up more than anyone ever could. I forgive you for the mistakes you made and I’m sorry I abandoned you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry you felt like you desperately had to fix others, when your own hands were bleeding. I’m sorry I did not love you the way you deserved to be loved. I realize I caused our own destruction by not seeing self-care as a priority. I promise to do a better job at putting you first, especially at times when I am feeling too much of my surroundings.

It’s time and I’m ready.

Now….See yourself holding that balloon – keeping the lessons the balloon contains, but then letting go of all the negativity that the balloon holds…let it slip away into the universe – never to be seen again.